Very early motherhood
Experiences by: Liz - Find her on instagram @lizshaaw
How many kids do you have and how old are they at the moment?
I have 1 child who's 7 weeks old (so I may not be the best to Answer questions as very new still!)
Could you tell us a little more about your parenting situation?
I parent with my partner who is extremely hands on which is our saving grace really! Who works full time but will be taking 2 months of my maternity leave so I can go back to work earlier
How did you find the early years of motherhood?
Not so much years, but weeks, but I've found it the worst 7 weeks so far. I have struggled so much.. I feel like everything I expected to feel wasn't there and put a lot of pressure and blame on myself for it.
Who or what helped you most in the early days of motherhood?
I've found being open and honest with friends really helped, some didn't pay attention but others understood and just knowing I wasnt alone has really helped get me through. I reached out for post natal support early on and as hard as that was it needed to be done (I also have prenatal depression during pregnancy)
What do you wish you had known before having a baby?
I wish I have known that I am enough for my daughter and I should have removed the pressure at the start. I wish I knew that motherly maternal bond, and unconditional love doesn't come naturally to everyone, my babys a stranger and we need to learn to know and love each other and I'm no less of a mother for not having this connection. Time is the biggest gift.
What piece of advice would you give to your pregnant self if you could go back in time?
To my pregnant self it would be that it's OK to wonder what could have been and grieve for your old life regardless. I had a miss carriage late 2020 and It gave me extreme pregnancy anxiety and prenatal depression which is not talked about enough for how common it is!!!! Bur I'd often wonder what my life would be like if that pregnancy was a success and feel resentful towards myself for 'failing' my unborn child-bur this was a natural stage of grief I didn't allow myself to go through at the time! This child was planned and wanted and yet I missed what could have been and I missed my old life (pregnancy forced me to change jobs
And I felt guilty for missing that life.. so it's just to know that it's OK regardless of how much a baby is wanted, it's OK to grieve for a life you once had it doesn't make you any less worthy to be a mum
Funniest story (in hindsight anyway!)
Not many funny stories yet! But I'd like to share what my friend said helped her through the first couple years "When you are st in a coffee shop in your mid twenties, you don't discuss which one of you walked at 8 months, no one seems further ahead in life because they only ate jar food, no one measures their life achievements because their mum went to every single baby group.. don't put pressure to be someone you aren't, you are already someone your baby needs as you are. Your baby is an individual who will do what they need to when they need to do it. There's no timeline on achievements just like you haven't got to be married st 20 and buy a house at 25.. everyone will achieve in life when it is there time to do so".
*If you’d like to submit your own early motherhood experience (and I would love for you to!), ping me a message at silke@raiseupmums.co.uk You can give your name or keep it anonymous.